Seaelven Studios
Installation  - I Do Not Want to be Here Copyright 2011
This is the written piece that goes with
the project. Further forward in this
series is a look at each of the 15 images
on this installation.
      Nice to meet you. This won't last long. Our son has never brought
a girl home before.
Don't think that means anything, you're temporary. We
found a nice buffet to eat at.
So we can test your “fish allergy.” I don't
give my contact information to people I've just met.
I really don't
care to be associated with anyone who doesn't have a graduate degree.
You are not
Christian?
We will just add that to our list of reasons not to like you. We really
don't see our son in your future.
Because you will be working a blue collar job
for the rest of your life with several illegitimate children.
You are really not being
smart about this.
You are really not that smart in general. When are you
graduating?
You will never graduate, in fact, there is only one thing you will ever be good
for.
Oh, look she's pretending that she can read. Someone as
uneducated as you are can't possibly know how.
You are hurting the family.
Gold digger. Whore. Heathen. Your medical conditions will
cause you to kill your children in a car accident. You are
killing us.
Resolution? For our daughter? Why? This will never change. They will never
change. A bird, a boat, a picture on the wall; I do not want to be here.

      Above, in the larger font is some of the things my in-laws have said to me. In the smaller font
are the things they were saying in a back-handed way. On a trip to resolve our issues (which was
not my idea), I used the opportunity to photograph a narrative. I photographed everything I was
staring at and they way I was looking at it when I had the thought “I do not want to be here.” The
curtains proved an illusion of comfort, inviting one to relax, while the images stir up an anxiety you
cannot put your finger on, recreating my experience.